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28

 

going to be called, "Coming, Coming, Coming, Came. I’m Tired of the Illusion Game.” I felt that He had done a super divine job. And that His time had come. I was happy for that release. For Baba, to be shoved into a body, or an apparent human body, was for me the most difficult concept, and still is, really. He's so tremendous, so vast, so big, I don't know how He could bottle Himself up like that.

 

But you know, since He 's dropped his body, I often have moments of bliss. when I'm not in this world at all. It's very peaceful. And even though I've had much physical pain in my life, it has come to that point where it's easier for me to forget it. And actually, when I get into that state, I don't feel pain anymore. It doesn't remain for a long time; it comes back. But for a while, I can have rest and respite from it. Those of us, anybody, who has had a contact with Baba, is an extremely blessed soul. In any incarnation. I don't care when it was. It's the only thing that counts. Believe me.

 

Q. Do you feel that you are still growing closer to Baba?

 

A. I don't even evaluate that. I haven't thought about it. That is not a focal point with me. I just try to live. I'm pretty much at peace. I'll tell you one thing, since I first met Baba inwardly, I've always said, "Let Thy will be done." I tell people, "If God wants me to die murdered, I'll die murdered. If God wants me to die peacefully in my sleep, I'll die peacefully in my sleep."

 

And I must tell you something else. This is something we used to say when I was in the circus: It would be raining; it would be cold; we would be hungry. We wouldn't know if we would get a paycheck at the end of the week. And we would say to one another, "Cheer up. The worst is yet to come." And there is one other thing we said which I like very much:  "Don't worry.  A hundred years from now it won't make any difference."

 

 

 

decal

 

Poem

 

They say His body lies within the Tomb.
They
say He touched these things and these He blessed . . .
Holy things repel me. The only room
So sacred is the loving heart undressed —  

The loving
heart stripped naked of its guile,
Revealed and vulnerable to the test
That love demands. Such hearts reveal a smile
Deepened by pain; such hearts remain at rest.

  Where is the heart inside of me He blessed?
Where is rest? He promised; do I
ask much?
I can do naught but follow what I've guessed:
Follow love's
demands. Is this His touch?

 
To speak love's language heart to heart in truth;
To love what I can love? I know no proof.

 

                                                                                                  — John Mijac

 

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