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Baba was preparing for prayers. Baba had washed His hands, had stood up and was about to gesture to start the prayer, when there was an interruption at the door of this Mandali Hall.
It's the professor, wanting to come inside. So Baba gestured to him, "Don't delay, come on, get inside, stand there." (There was a vacant corner at the far end). Such interruptions would happen and Baba, just as in this case, would let it out, cool it down, as a human being.
After some time, He gestured, "Start!" So I started reading aloud the prayers, and what did the Doctor of Philosophy observe? Veritably God in human form solemnly participating in the prayer that He himself had dictated for us human beings!
He was horrified at the scene: God Himself is standing and bowing down in worship! (The Doctor told us all this two years later). At that time, he felt much disturbed by what was happening inside the Mandali Hall. The Master's Prayer has ended; then the Repentance Prayer comes to an end. The Doctor is a witness to the Godman participating in this prayer in all seriousness and as a penitent imploring through outward gestures by slapping His cheeks and asking forgiveness!!
So he observes Baba doing what he had never seen before, and he is more and more confused and horrified. He says to himself: "What is this? In whom have we reposed our faith and conviction as God in human form? What has happened? There must be a greater authority than this avatar, this man, whom I took to be my Master. Who is he after all that we should go after him? How could He do so? What has happened to Him?" It was a horrifying, frustrating experience for one who had been with Baba for so many years. But the crowning glory of his total despair and frustration is yet to come.
After the prayer, everyone settled down and Baba turned to the Doctor and gestured, "Do what the others do . . . do as the others do, now." He doesn't know what that means. The usual improvised footstool is pushed in place, the cushions are put on it, etc. To someone nearby Baba gestures, "Come on, you start," and he puts his right foot on the cushion and Baba bows down to his foot. So the Doctor thinks, "My God what is going on here: is it possible, is He the same one?" and so on. Then his turn comes and Baba again points out to him, "Do exactly as the others did — repeat the name of God dear to you." So he says, "Parabrahma Paramatman."
He told us his mind was confused for two years. He didn't know what to do next. He spoiled his vacations. He hesitated to come to Baba. His mind was straying here and there, questioning what had happened to Baba. The Avatar of the Age, in whom he had trusted, appeared to have someone greater . . . where can one go now? Then his mother died. He sends a telegram to Baba and Baba sends one in return, conveying His blessings to his mother who has come to Him — I don't recall the text exactly.
Then again he comes here for his vacation, and he is not himself. He was a very lively person —- lively but serious too. He provoked Baba to give answers by asking leading questions. You see, he is a very good-hearted person. This time he was absolutely indifferent. He didn't know what he was trying to do or why he was here. He went back to his hometown after vacation. Baba never said anything; all was as usual. Of course the Doctor participated in conversations but had not the heart for it.
He is back home again; it is the anniversary of his mother's death. Now, he is a Brahmin, and with Brahmins it is customary after one year that the personal belongings of the dead parent have to be opened by the eldest in the family. He is the oldest member, so it is his privilege.
He opens the bundle of her personal belongings, he remembers her with great love and affection. Out of that piece of cloth, there comes her special shawl and other things all of which don't interest the philosopher. But there was a book also; he is intrigued. What was she reading?— let's see. He opens the book and starts reading a story there; then all that cloud of confusion gradually vanishes. He says to himself, "So that's it! Now it is so very clear; he comes back to his original self. Later, when he visited Meherazad, he told us that he read in his mother's book a story of Lord Krishna, the Avatar of the Age. Here it is:
One day, at dawn, Lord Krishna is in the act of worship, when a favorite disciple Narad, comes to his palace in a hurry. He wants to convey a message to him. He has the privilege to pass through the gate and go into the Lord's bedchamber because he is very
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