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52

 

One day when we were driving on a tractor, it turned over and my son and I were caught underneath. But Baba sent someone; as if from nowhere . . . who straightened out the tractor. Although I was hurting all over and I couldn't walk, somehow we managed to reach the town of Shahi, got a cab and came home. I was very unhappy because I was wondering what I had done for Baba to be doing this to me. I didn't know what he meant. When I got home they told me that a few books had come for me from Baba. It seems he did not have my address and he sent the books to Abosheer Mastur. Now Mastur had sent a message that we should go and collect the books, I said, "Go right now and collect the books."

 

When I started to read the book, one of the sentences really impressed me and made me understand what Baba's purpose had been. It was the following:  "My will is such that I should empty you from all your wants and all of what you have and make you naked. I should cut out the root of all of your wants and all of your desires even though those desires and wants might have once been a source of comfort to you." When I read this I said to myself, "O thank you God! So it is his love alone that has caused this, and he does not have any other purpose." In another place he said that if ever hardships and discomforts and sorrows and miseries are apparent, if they affect you they are nothing but the signs of his love for you.

 

So, I would accept whatever was given. From that time on, all went well. Everybody liked me; everybody wanted me to work for them. But I didn't want anybody's work. If I would work for anyone, it was enough to think that I was working for God. Whenever anybody would thank me I would tell them, "Why are you thanking me? I am not working for you." They would ask me, "Then who are you working for?" I would tell them, "I am working for God, not for you. My work is for God." My work was so good and everything worked out so well that when 1962 came and Baba gave permission for darshan, I was able to go.

 

That visit with Baba was very, very good. It was very happy and wonderful there. I should also mention that on the ship, on the way over, we heard a sound. People said there had been a bomb and everybody got very frightened. All the equipment for rescuing was made available and everyone wore life jackets. Although I had also tied on my life jacket, I felt very, very secure, as if I was leaning against a mountain. Everybody had gotten out their holy books; the one who read the Koran was reading the Koran, the one who read the Bible was reading the Bible. Everybody young and old, children and everyone — they were all facing God. They were praying to God and pleading to God and waiting to see when the ship would sink. All of a sudden I thought maybe I should repeat Baba's name. After repeating Baba's name 3 or 4 times, there came the tidings that nothing was wrong. The bomb had hit the inner wall and had not hit the outer wall; there was no hole in the ship and it wouldn't sink. In this trip, Baba also showed his mastery. Only those who were there could realize what a great chaos took place and how all of a sudden, after people were expecting to die, this good tiding came and made them all happy.

 

Once Baba came to Yazd; a few years after we had left Baba's Prem Ashram. Of course, we were expecting him fervently and we were very happy when he came. If Baba had not told us that we should not return to India, we would not have been able to bear Baba's separation. It is possible that after a few days of separation from him, we would have gone back to him. But the fact that he had told us that we should not go back kept us from doing so.

 

When he came to Yezd we were very happy: he remained for about five or six days. We would see him everyday. He had told us that the day before he wanted to leave, he would let us know when we could come and see him again. He said, "Whenever I want you to come I will write you." (We waited until 1962). When Baba had come to Yazd, I wanted to be constantly with Baba. I told him that there wasn't much profit in farming.

 

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