which would sit on my face, mixed with my sweat. When I turned the donkey towards the direction that I wanted to go, I found that I had strength and power, and went twelve kilometers to Yazd, despite this very severe storm. I did not pay any attention to it, and it felt as if I was in a spring garden. Continuously I would wipe off the sweat from my brow mixed with the snow and throw it down and continue on my way until I reached Yazd. I bought medicine and then I returned again until I reached home. And still my underwear was wet from sweat. Then when I reached home, I changed my clothes. For a whole month I was coughing up black mucous, but I did not have fever, I did not have headache, I did not catch pneumonia, and I felt very good and very well. At that time I realized, and I got the experience, of what Baba Tahir had written when on the mountain where he was busying himself with devotions and meditations, spring flowers had grown around him. That is correct; it is true.
In 1963 (Christian calendar), I wanted to go and have Baba's darshan again. That was when Baba was still living. But I had no money. Baidul wrote to me and asked me how much I was making and what was the means of my livelihood. And of course Baidul would never write anything without Baba's permission. I answered him in detail that I have an orchard here, and have trees, and that most years it is frost and it destroys the blossoms of the trees. My means of livelihood are solely dependent on the fruits from these trees: if I have a good crop, then I sell it, and if there is any left over from what I need for my living, then I can spend that and come to India. Otherwise I can't come to visit Baba.
And then Baidul wrote again that I should go and work around the trees, and tell the trees, with Baba's permission, since it is 35 years that I have not gone to visit Baba, and after all this time I want to go and visit him, that, my crop, you are not allowed to freeze. He said to go around the trees and say these words, and then don't think of anything else, don't worry. So I did the same thing, and I went around the trees, and I told them that after 35 years I wanted to go to visit Baba, and that the frost and the winter should not destroy my crop that year.
In that time it was the month of Ordi-behesht, which is about April. So I borrowed some money, because I was sure that I would not lose my crop, and I went towards Zahedan. First I wanted to go with the train, and then I realized that the time was short and so I decided to go with the plane. My son Arag bought the plane ticket for me, put me on the plane, and I went to Bombay. And from Bombay we immediately boarded and went to Guruprasad.
When we reached there, it was about noon, and I saw that the streets were filled with people who were going toward Guruprasad. I asked about them, and they said yes, they had all been to visit Meher Baba, and that now they had been given leave and they were going away. I got very upset then because I had only three days here and I had lost one more day, and I had only two more days to be with Baba. The taxi-walla who was taking me took me into Guruprasad and took me all the way in front of the steps there. I saw that Ali Akbar came to me running. Ali Akbar knew because I had written to him that I was coming. He came and took my belongings out of the cab. I asked him, "Is Baba giving darshan?" And he said: "Yes, he will give darshan in the afternoon, and now people have gone to have their lunch." That made me happy — that it was possible to see Baba in the afternoon.
For about half an hour I was sitting in that hall there, as Ali Akbar told me to. I went and washed my face and hands, and I sat there and they gave me cool water to drink. Then all of a sudden I noticed that Ali Akbar was saying: No, he's awake, he's awake! And I found that I was talking to myself, saying, "Am I asleep? Am I dreaming? Or am I awake? Is my being here in a dream or in reality, in wakefulness?" Ali Akbar answered me: No, you're awake, you're awake! So when I came to myself, I noticed that I was talking to myself, saying whether I was asleep or awake.