Things went on and on that afternoon ― into a very late night. At the last minute Irwin and Edward Luck arrived. Almost right at 4:30. It was Edward's first meeting with Baba. Baba let the two of them sit on the floor and hold a pillow over His feet so no one would bow down to Him; He didn’t want that at this gathering. I have great memories of Edward looking up in awe at Baba's face that entire time. It was lovely. At one point, Irwin turned to Baba and asked Him for God realization. Baba said, We won't talk about that now, listen to the music."
Now there were five of us to go back to the United States together, and Baba said that we could come the next morning to say goodbye to Him. When we went out, I was full, I mean, it was time to go home. I'd had as much as I could take. But when I went up to Baba, I was crying, and I didn’t want to leave. When He embraced me there was a look of anguish on His face. I didn't understand it, but I had a vague idea I had caused it. The goodbye was so fast. I had the embrace and then Rano was there — it was always her job to clear people out — and we were out!
I remember that incident in the back of my mind, but I didn't really dwell on it. Eighteen months later, I was fortunate enough to go back to the East West Gathering — that "other opportunity" He'd been talking about in the family letter. I went and Liz went. The moment Baba spotted Liz, He pointed to her and called her. He told her that He accepted her gift to me as a gift to Him. So Baba wiped out any obligation I might have had to her.
Now I was not getting the same attention at the East-West Gathering and I didn't like it. I had been spoiled. And I remember one day I was standing in the aisle in front of the dais where Baba was sitting and thought, "I'm going to stand here and stare at Him until He looks at me." He finally did, but the expression said, "Alright, I have looked at you, now you sit down."
Years later, we all found out from each other that we had experienced in one way or another during the East-West Gathering Baba slowly withdrawing. Francis Brabazon described it as the Father saying to the children, "Now, I have work to do and you must wait." And then there was the gentle closing of the door. That very beautifully sums up what we felt individually. Baba did tell Margaret Craske and her dancers that they would never see Him again, and Margaret felt that He meant it this time.
When the last day arrived, we were all going to say goodbye to Baba individually. I was thinking, "Oh, boy, I'm going to get another embrace." I wasn't thinking of it being goodbye. So when I went up to Baba, I was smiling and happy and I leaned over and kissed Him on both cheeks said, "Thank you, Baba. Thank you." When I pulled back from Him, it was like He was on fire. He was beaming from ear to ear. He reached up out of His chair and patted my cheeks hard with both hands. And I remember the year before and the way I had left, and realized He was saying, "This is the way I want you to be. As happy leaving as you were when you came. You take Me with you; there is no separation." I also felt that I'd said, "Thank you," and that pleased Him and He let me know it. I felt that, if I never did anything else in my whole life, just once I had pleased Him, and He let me know it. It is my most precious, vivid memory of Him. It would be worth anything in my life to see it again. Whenever I think everyone's mad at me, whenever I'm in real trouble, I see that face and know I'm loved. And I know Baba was saying to me, "Be happy," it's important. I do want you to be happy.” It’s