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and reproduces everything to which it is exposed, it must be like a mirror, which reflects everything, but is not impressed by anything.

 

*******

 

May 22, 1937

 

I think I understand, now, what Baba means when he says "I am continually crucified and continually experiencing bliss." There may be many meanings, but one, I feel sure, is that the cross of light and power is always formed within him, and that through its play, he experiences constant bliss.

 

And I begin to remember many things . . .

 

I remember, how, in the Rosicrucian Society to which I belonged many years ago, there was one moment, in the mass, when the celebrant, turning to the congregation, said, "May the roses bloom upon your crosses!" And the response was, "And upon yours."

 

I remember, how in The North Node days, when people used to ask me what a Rosicrucian was, I would give them the traditional historical meaning of the word and then say, "But really, fundamentally, a Rosicrucian is one whose spiritual centres are so highly developed that they form a cross of rosy light throughout the body. (This light by the way, was starry, not rosy.)

 

I remember,  how, in the early North Node days, when my spiritual training was in the hands of very capable invisible preceptors, one of them would say to me, occasionally, after I had recovered from periods of anger, or stubbornness, or pride,  "I light your stars for you again . . . " And how another began one of his beautiful messages with "May the stars shine from your forehead, and the roses bloom in your hands as you give them to others!"

 

I remember, how, in 1927, after D. L. had finished telling me, so accurately, as was later to be proved, many things that life had still in store for me, she held my hand for a moment before we parted, drew the other for a moment over her eyes and said, "Oh, that brilliant light! But all the rubbish that has to be cleared away from it!" . . . Baba, in a discourse to his Eastern disciples in the early days of Manzil-i-Meem, compared the countless samskaras of the average person to a heap of rubbish which it is impossible for the person to remove, but which a Perfect Master can destroy in a second.

 

I remember, similarly, the time, in 1929 or 1930, when Mrs. H. came into The North Node. I was seated at the round marble-top table in the centre of the shop, working. I didn't relish the idea of being interrupted, and, when I saw her at the door my first reaction was one of annoyance. Then I remembered what a sweet person she was, put aside my work, and smiled. She came over and sat with me at the table, and for a long time was silent. Later, we talked. Then she looked at some books and left.

 

The next time she came, she told me that when I had looked up at her and smiled as she was entering the door, my body had disappeared completely and all she could see for the moment was a flash of blinding light. She did not know, she added, how she had reached the table.

 

I remember that later still, in 1931, when J.C. first came to the North Node and sat on the sofa looking through Songs to Celebrate the Sun while I cleaned up my day's work and prepared to close the shop, the light appeared to her.

 

I remember a poem which came in the summer of 1931:

 

 

Starlight, moonlight, sunlight through the trees –
What of the earth's light, as radiant as these?
What of our own light, flowing out unseen,
Carrying the record of all that we have been?
What of our own light, flowing out unseen,
Bright as the heart and the mind are clean?

 

51

 

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