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54

 

So I started to meditate on Jean, and was peacefully about to fall asleep when suddenly the thought of Baba popped into my mind -- Baba in relationship to Jean -- my last conscious thought "before I slipped into unconsciousness."

 

It must have been about midnight that I awoke from sleep, with tears pouring from my eyes, and a realization, in my mind, of Baba's true nature and mission. I have never been able to put this into words. As Kabir has said, "It can never be told with the words of the mouth, it can never be written on paper." Baba had revealed to me his Universal Form as Krishna revealed to Arjuna -- and with the revelation went all my reservations. I capitulated. I knew what Baba was. I knew what his mission was. I knew it was my destiny to serve him.

 

The next morning, when I saw Baba, he embraced me and asked in pantomime, with a twinkle in his eye -- whether I had slept well. I nodded, then exclaimed -- for we had been talking about the approach of another world-wide war, which Baba had been prophesying since 1925, and which he said, was a necessary prelude to his own complete manifestation and the subsequent birth of a new and better world -- "And, Oh! Baba! Why don't you reveal yourself to everyone as you revealed yourself last night to me? Then there would be no need of wars!"

 

Baba smiled, said nothing, and embraced me again. But he has said since then: "I intend, when I speak, to reveal the One Supreme Self which is in all. This accomplished, the idea of the self as a limited, separate entity will disappear, and with it will vanish self-interest. Cooperation will replace competition; certainty will replace fear; generosity will replace greed; exploitation will disappear."

 

And I, for one, believe that he can do it!

 

As Kabir says, "When you meet the true Guru, He will awaken your heart. He will tell you the secret of love and detachment; then you will know indeed that He transcends this universe."

 

Also interesting in relation to this experience, is an incident that occurred a few months before. When Meredith Starr sent me, during the previous summer, the copy of his book of poems, "Arrows of Flame", he inscribed it to me "in recognition and in friendship", and quoted the last two lines of Shakespeare's famous 109th sonnet:

 

"For nothing this wide universe I call,

 

Save Thou, my Rose; In it Thou art my All,"

 

When the book arrived, I still had many reservations about going to East Challacombe at all; I was still resisting the idea of the master-disciple relationship, as it applied to me; and I certainly had no intention of accepting Meredith as my master, in any event. My feelings found expression in a poem entitled "Called", which I wrote to reiterate my dedication to the impersonal aspect of Divinity. This is the poem:

 

 

I am called, but I shall not answer,
Until I am called by Thee,
Above the tumult of voices,
Thy silence shall summon me.
And I shall ascend into Thee,
Bodiless, thoughtless, free;
Released from unending becoming,
To be, and not to be.

 

 

"Called" now seems almost prophetic of the experience which was for me to be the crowning moment of Baba's first visit. Certainly Baba gave the poem another

 

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