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I am certain that God's ways are unknown and the ways of Perfect Masters are unfathomable. Upasni Maharaj gave a break to her worldly suffering by diverting her care and attention from her home to Sakori and Meher Baba later restored her to her home and family with a broader vision, a greater love and a stronger mind. During this period of transition, she became so deeply and intimately devoted to Meher Baba, that she was always prepared at Meher Baba's word, not only for any sacrifice of herself and her possessions, but also of her children and their possessions. Her love for Meher Baba became the mainstay of her life, which became the source of inspiration to all the members of the joint family to gradually and surely follow her footsteps. Once drawn to Meher Baba, a person becomes so much sheltered under the ever-open wings of His Love that all persons or circumstances by which he is drawn become insignificant, in spite of the fact that their memory remains ever fresh.
All Gulmai's trouble at home cannot be attributed to my father or to the other joint family members. It was partly due to her aloofness from all family activity, in which she found herself misplaced. She did not participate as she was supposed to, and so felt herself neglected by others. But this did not rob her self-confidence and peaceful nature which she always had, and which attracted family members for her quiet advice and strength during grave personal crisis. Frail in body, she looked like a rock in a storm, impressing the family members with her inner strength and understanding on personal matters. She had less of worldly knowledge but had a deeper sensitivity and appreciation of human suffering that would sometimes get her into hot water with others. Her single-minded devotion to Meher Baba was exemplary. This was in no less measure due to Meher Baba giving her the exuberance of His love and affection as a mother. The name Gulbai was turned into Gulmai by Meher Baba.
How I Met Meher Baba
Merwan, as he was called, was a constant visitor to Sakori for nearly seven years after nine months of his contact with Babajan. He was immersed in the ocean of Divinity by Babajan. Having become God-realized, he was directed inwardly to go and see Narayan Maharaj of Kedgaon and Tajuddin Baba of Nagpur and then Sai Baba and finally to Upasni Maharaj, who brought him down from God-consciousness to man-consciousness, retaining his God-consciousness to the full. God-consciousness once gained is never lost; but it is given to a few to become salik or sadguru by regaining man-consciousness. Meher Baba, although not known to us then as Avatar, was the Avatar and Babajan and Upasni Maharaj had only to work up inwardly to precipitate God's descent in human form. They cannot be called the Masters of Meher Baba in the conventional sense of handing over the charge of spiritual power from a guru or a master to a shishya or a disciple. The two Masters as it were prepared the way for His Advent.
Gulmai often told me that there was one named Merwan who was considered as the foremost disciple of Upasni Maharaj. She always used to talk to me about him in very endearing terms until one day I saw him at Sakori. He had a light brown complexion, very penetrating eyes, a slender body, and was quick and agile in his movements. He moved about the precincts of Sakori ashram, talking, singing and musing, as if given away to an entirely different world, which seemed to be his primary concern and all outward acts, expressions and surface movements, were to conceal the oceanic depth of his experience. Not a word of greatness of himself did he ever utter. It was all in praise of Babajan and Upasni Maharaj. But his state of utter disregard of his bodily dress and comfort, his words of profound knowledge and his overflowing love for all, betrayed his love for humanity and his authority to exercise this love for the benefit of others. There is no significant event, or moment in my recollection of my first contact with Meher Baba that drew me to him. However, later on by a progressive
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