very close. After a while peace seemed to come from that spot and Baba. I walked slowly back, and as I came in sight of the house I saw Chanji and Ali coming to meet me. Baba had sent them to look for me. The rest of the household was meditating, Baba was sitting on the bed in the garden with Zilla and his group. He smiled when he saw me. I did not have to explain, he understood all. We sat for a time, till lunch.
After lunch Baba sent for Zilla and me. I went in first. This was for the first moment of some kind of realization. I had not felt that intense great spiritual love before. Perhaps Baba did not mean me to feel deeply till my brother had left. Anyway, I felt at that moment completely for Baba and for the first time in my life experienced that divine ecstasy of divine love that the mystic experiences. Since a girl of 16 I had read and reread the great mystics of all ages, though not those of the East, and had never expected to capture something of their great moments. I don't think I said much, but I wept a lot. At this point Baba sent for Zilla. Zilla naturally asked me why I was crying and Baba asked me to tell her. I said it was because I was so happy.
Shortly after, Baba suggested that we go for a walk. Others were called and we walked across the fields; one of the group brought a little lamb for Baba to hold.
"That day never sank below my mind's horizon." I was no longer alone. All thought and action on the ascent to the summit of life's endeavor — God — became permeated with or centered in the pursuit of Baba. "I was no longer alone." Such was the impact echoing day and night in the heart after five days or less, in the presence of Baba's compassion and kindness expressed in terms one could understand of pure Divine Love. That Baba was "this" or "that" — Krishna, Buddha, Christ, — had no conscious share in my reactions, for I never recall Baba using these words until 3 months later in December '31, in Paris, on the eve of his return to India. Even then, I did not grasp their true significance. Before many days had passed the rhythm of events accelerated, episodes followed one upon the other. Soul, once awakened, was followed by a quickening of the spirit.
This was Friday. On Saturday, the 19th, Baba surprised us by saying he wanted Zilla and me to return to London on the 20th, Sunday, as he had work for me to do. I said, "But Baba, you said you wanted us to stay a week, and now you say 'Go’." We were all to learn very shortly that Baba changes his plans continually and that we have to obey without question or arguing. This was the beginning of what I hoped might