After this telegram, I got a little calm and even then I had made up my mind that unless one developed "love” in thought, word and deed, there's no use of talking or reading or having meetings, etc.; and that many of us lacked this initial basis and foundation for the higher life. That is why we are not proper channels of Baba's Love and Grace to others. From that day, I have set for myself a plan of daily checking up my thoughts and actions, say once in six hours and certainly at bed time - The question I each time ask myself is: Will Baba be pleased or is He hurt? Would I have done it if Baba were seeing or watching me? This is with reference to 'thoughts,' more important than deeds or words. I reproduce the reply I got from Baba:
"Your telegram reached in time to be read to Beloved Baba. Baba wants me to convey to you that He gives His Love and Blessing to you and to your dear family. BABA wants me to in/ arm you that He has forgiven you and that you should not worry about your drawbacks or weaknesses, but pay all attention to curb them and to rise above them with the PROP of His remembrance and His name. Baba wants me to let you know that He is very pleased with your love for Him and He is very happy that you try to remain engrossed in His Love and Service. Baba wants me to mention here that you are one of His jewels in His Cause and, as such, the jewel can never get tarnished, even though its lustre may apparently get tarnished, even though its lustre may apparently get dimmed by extraneous matter― dust or dirt! Once the jewel is polished it shines and remains shining bright. Beloved Baba wants you to convey His love and blessings to all His lovers in C____ and its suburbs who remain engrossed in His Love and Service. Their love reaches Him and makes Him happy.”
Do you think, dear R—, I deserve being called such fine things? It is BABA's Love and Compassion just to cheer me up!
However this letter intensified my efforts to make a firmer determination to lead a higher life and make myself worthy of Baba's Grace. I wrote of that again, and again I got another letter saying that Baba was very happy at my resolve and that I have determined to rise above the mundane affairs of the world that leads one away from Him. So, this was the Silence Day for me... I shared my feelings and the reply I got with others and many have set upon the new discipline and "technique" of becoming more and more worthy of His Love and Grace. I have told my groups until we all have risen to a higher mode or way of life in practice: no more talks, no more gatherings and books or literature.