of you who keep watch by turns throughout the night at my bedside know how I suffer. So much so that at the moment I am handicapped to the extent that I must depend upon the loving help and care of those near me. But all this is as nothing compared to what I shall have to endure when the dark cloud bursts upon me.
“To fulfill all that is ordained, I work; and this work releases the tremendous force that stamps my Advent. The impact of this force on groping humanity is an awakening in general, and the realization of Self in particular.
"Work has a charm of its own when the forces of opposition are faced and eventually overcome. For the present, I face the dark cloud, and yet I continue to do my work ceaselessly. Besides this, I have to do many things. I have, for instance, to see to the arrangements for the Sahavas and shall also have to give Sahavas * to hundreds of my followers.
"But how difficult it is to overcome all hindrances and complete the work in hand when there are distractions to be reckoned with. The pain in my hip-joint, for example, is just one of the many distractions that I must endure while doing my work. If this pain should vanish or even lessen to some extent, my work will be fulfilled, in spite of the onslaught of the dark cloud that threatens to jeopardize fulfillment.
"Just as I am now quite unable to do so many physical things unaided, in spite of an otherwise healthy body, I may, at the time of the impending crisis, become even mentally helpless, without being mentally deranged in the least. You may then not be able to continue to hold on to my daaman because circumstances will seemingly justify your letting it go. I am infinitely merciful, and so repeat the same thing again and again so that you may remember my words and try your best to cling to me. For example, in a sudden and terrifying earthquake, any man, in the blind hope of saving his life, is likely to run, forgetting in an instant his family and all his possessions, and thus forsake them before he realizes what he has done.
"Whatever is to happen, will happen. This is the principle, or as I call it, the Law of 'Must'—the law on which universal illusion thrives. It is as if the ready and complete film of illusion, from the beginningless beginning to the endless end, is being projected continually. If it is destined that my daaman should slip from your hands, it will; but it is for me to warn, and for you to remain alert. In illusion, you may die at any moment. The illusory
* The Master’s company.